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Sunday, May 26, 2013

Weird Scenes Inside the Building Where I Live

A neighbor performed a Jedi mind trick on me this afternoon as I waited for the elevator.

Neighbor (waving his hand mysteriously): "It is chilly outside, and you will need a jacket."

Me: "It is chilly outside, and I will need a jacket."

Okay, that's not how it actually happened.


Meanwhile, the Night Before

Attention, my fellow apartment residents: If you're missing your collection of Hustler, Penthouse, and Barely Legal periodicals, they are sitting in a big pile in the hallway.


Trying To Grok Beef Shanks Barbacoa Tacos Recipe Braised Beef Pasta Sauce Recipe


And Here Are Some Good (YouTube) Poopers

Dikekike, Orpheusftw, Adventure2theUnknown, Attackofthehank, chemistryguy, Keeperof Porridge, kevmcallister, Likety, MrTPoops, ipoop7colors, Deepercutt, DurhamrockerZ

Friday, May 17, 2013

Pay Attention

I used to think that "Question The Answers" was the ultimate Mighty Mighty Bosstones album. I no longer think this. I reached this conclusion while I was driving home from an involuntarily protracted visit to a bulk/warehouse store known as "BJs." I was involuntarily detained in the BJ's parking lot because there was an accident at the light. Right there. I was going to go off to Wal-Mart to purchase a crock pot because I need said Crock for a shank stew I intend to make at some point. However, since I was so detained, I went back into the BJ's and purchased said appliance there. Traffic was still backed up by the time I returned to the car, however, so I figured I would go visit the weirdly unfriendly used CD store nearby. This place is always strangely unfriendly, at least it has been every time I went in there. There always seems to be some guy standing there talking to the guy at the cash register and making what he imagines is incredibly hip observations about popular music, and the cashier has to stand there and listen. Then when the third guy walks in, the other two guys are too into the conversation for the shopkeeper to acknowledge your presence. It's a weird approach to retail. "People will always know who Bob Dylan is," the guy is saying. "I mean, do you think they'll know who Justin Bieber is 50 years from now?" I quickly spy a pretty healthy section of used ska CDs (that means there are about 8 of them), including a Mustard Plug comp I'm drooling over, but I end up picking up a Madness CD I've not seen anywhere and "Pay Attention" by the aforementioned Mighty Mighty Bosstones. As I'm browsing, I decide how I'm going to get back at this fucker for not so much as nodding at his third customer there. I approach the counter with my purchase. I say in the friendliest voice I can muster, “Hi, Jerry. How are you doing?” Then I look at the other fellow, and I say, "George! How've you been?" George looked like he'd like to have kilt me. Anyway. As I indicated. From my summary listen on the way home from that little adventure, I would have to say that I think "Pay Attention" > "Question the Answers." Also, from this point forth, if I don't know your name, chances are good that I may decide call you by the name of a character in "Seinfeld." Just seems like a great way to break the ice.