Acting!

Actress in that Dulcolax commercial to the director: What's my motivation?

Director: You pooped.

Actress: I pooped?

Director: Yes. You woke up in the morning and you successfully pooped.

Actress: Got it!

Tonight!

10 p.m. on CBS. Set your DVRs

Elsbeth (CBS) Super Bowl Promo HD - The Good Wife spinoff

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Elsbeth

Not only does the much-anticipated CBS spinoff “Elsbeth” look like darned good TV and a fantastic “Good Wife” and “Good Fight” spinoff and feature Wendell Pierce, but it also tasks former “True Blood” actors Stephen Moyer and Carrie Preston, at least per one episode. Feb. 29. CBS. Can’t wait.

ELSBETH | Official Trailer | CBS

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The SAG-AFTRA Strike and Barbecue Sauce

Fans of the Apple TV behemoth "Ted Lasso" show don't just watch the show, and we don't just watch the show once. We'll binge watch all three seasons countless times, looking for puzzles, looking for clues, I mean, why does Isaac count to 12 and skip 8, and why so many "Cheers" references snuck in? What is the significance of the number 1,236?

(I have my own personal theory on that last one and will share it at the end of this post just for fun, Tod Rundgren.)

I mean, "Ted Lasso" watchers are maniacs, myself included. And, with good reason. Television shows this good do not litter our cultural landscape. They are occasions. The writing is excellent. (Rebecca: Oh, do you believe in ghosts, Ted? Ted: I do. But more importantly, I believe they need to believe in themselves.) or (Beard: We have a saying in Codependents Anonymous. The room: What? Beard: Oh, Jane makes me go with her.) The characters, each of them, well developed and greatly acted, from Ted himself to Paul, Basil and Jeremy.

What's astonishing is the origins of this project. SNL alum Jason Sudeikis started it as a jokey way to promote NBC Sports' coverage of England's Premier League.

I mean, he and his writers could have left it there, but they didn't. They somehow saw more in the concept. They developed it. They altered its tone (Sudeikis has said that part of this was indeed a reaction to his witnessing our increasingly hostile political climate). By 2020, "Ted Lasso" was fully realized and running on Apple TV. From that silly promo to a beloved, scrutinized television program. It's quite a feat.

Some of those responsible: Writer and producer Bill Lawrence, previously creator of "Scrubs" and co-creator of "Cougar Town," and "Spin City." Jason Sudeikis, SNL writer and eventual cast member from 2003 to 2013, subsequently a film actor and eventually writer and producer on "Ted Lasso." Brendan "Coach Beard" Hunt, theater student and Second City and Boom Chicago alum, film actor, and creator of his own one-man show, performed in Edinburgh, Aspen, Chicago, and New York. And, SNL writing staff alum Joe Kelly, also a writer and story editor on "How I Met Your Mother."

I summarize the "Ted Lasso" creators' credits because I've been thinking a lot lately about the SAG-AFTRA strike.

For various reasons, summertime is my least favorite time of the year. It's hot. The sun is entirely too bright. The air conditioning in my apartment is useless, and the cat won't let me put it on most of the time anyway. And, there's nothing on television to watch. I usually spend July and August sweating a lot and waiting for football to start.

The strike didn't help. SNL wrapped sooner than it would have, and I've been driven to the milquetoast legal drama "Suits," the show what gave us. Meghan Markle. But, then again, the future the studio bosses are presenting sure does seem bleak. I mean, doesn't quality suffer without a full writers' room for the entire life of a show? Where does the next "Ted Lasso" or "The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel" come from if talented writers don't get the experience of working on a show from start to finish, and if they're getting paid peanuts? Not to mention if you can just spit a premise into a computer and have it barf out a script?

I note this morning that the Teamsters and UPS have come to an agreement. That is excellent; that strike really would have mucked up this incredible Biden economy. But I would have supported them, and I certainly support our writer and actor compadres. Am hoping these events portend a great wave for labor in this country.

Now, regarding 1,236. This is a number mentioned twice in season 2, episode 1, "Goodbye Earl." It is mentioned once as the ongoing tally for Pheobe's swear-penalties for her Uncle Roy. Keeley asks how much she's accrued, and Pheobe says, "1,236 pounds," to which Keeley replies, "impressive." The second instance is in Ted's office, where these screwballs are playing a game where they pass a crumpled up piece of paper. On her way out, Dr. Sharon Fieldstone asks what their record is. The reply is 1,236, to which the good doctor replies, "impressive."

Ted Lasso fans are a little nuts, and all over the internet, we've been speculating over this number's significance. Some say it's a prime number, or something in numerology, blah, blah, blah. But I think I have the real poop on this one.

In 1972, running back Steve Jones, who would be that year's Player of the Year in the ACC, became the first in Duke's history to best a thousand yards in a season. His record: 1,236 yards.

Impressive. In fact, this record stood until it was beaten by Mataeo Durant in 2021. That, in my humble estimation, is the significance of this number in "Ted Lasso."

Season 5, Episode 7...

So. Episode 7. Spoilers, so I’ll add some space…

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What a great juxtaposition. Abe, waiting around for Ethan to exhibit a birthright of genius he claims every Maisel son exhibits at age 6, but he lights up like a star when he realizes the gift has been passed on instead to his granddaughter. But he and others adjacent are stubbornly unable to recognize or appreciate the preternatural genius of the one and only Midge Maisel. Moishe and Shirley are even now blind to the fact that Midge is a really big deal; even as they occupy front-row studio seats at The Gordon Ford Show, they are unable, I mean physically unable to accept that the tickets came from Midge. Indeed, when Abe first discovers his daughter’s new avocation, he’s not proud. He’s not impressed. He is angry with her to the point of silent treatment. Esther, it seems, will not have to fight her previously-assumed role as did her mother. Those closest to Midge still see her as the happy homemaker, recording her own measurements in a journal and crafting the best brisket in the world. Esther will have an easier go of it. 

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Episode 8, to air May 19, is titled "The Princess and the Plea." I think we're going to learn more about how Joel ended up in the slam. Too obvious? Or might it refer to Midge and Susie burying the hatchet? What say yinz?

Writers On Set

Having a writer on set is one of the big issues that is causing the Writers Guild of America to strike. While I'm really annoyed to be missing live episodes of SNL, it sounds like the writers are really facing some existential issues in their profession, as in, the studios and the streamers would really like streaming to allow the way writers have always been paid to change for their favor, as corporate America is wont to do.

Here's a great Twitter thread explaining why having a writer on set is such a big deal and how it actually can be thought of a labor cost that pays for itself...

UNION

It's What's For Dinner

I often have an internal debate on if cooking sous vide is worth the effort. I mean, you season the meat, then you gotta vacuum seal it, which uses a lot of plastic, then you gotta dunk it in water and ensure that it's weighed down, and then you gotta throw it in a hot pan for a minute so it doesn't look quite so ugly.

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Meanwhile, how about that Marvelous Mrs. Maisel?

I have to say, I am not a fan of exposition. It's lazy. In television, please don't tell me, NCIS. It's a visual medium. Show me.

But in the case of S5 Ep6, I mean, exposition was the point, and it was used smartly to bulldoze the story forward. It was couched within a story, within the event of our girl getting the honor of a lifetime, a Friar's Club roast (this really needed a Jeff Ross cameo but okay) but I think this episode was the most talky-talk episode in the whole thing.

Yet, it was done so well, couched within a context, exposition without a wet towel smacking you in the temples, that you really didn't notice you were being talkie-talked to. So good, and man, they moved mountains with gigantic excavators when it came to advancing this story in one simple episode.

I hope Susie gets to answer and/or make that call. Peace in our time, and tits up.

American Idol Notes, S21, E3

Sara Beth Liebe - “You Know I’m No Good” by Amy Winehouse, then “Benny and the Jets” by Elton John. Lionel Richie, No. Katy Perry, Yes. Luke Bryan, Yes. Me, No.

Tanner Charles - “Golden Eyes,” original. Lionel Richie, Yes. Katy Perry, Yes. Luke Bryan, Yes. Me, Shit No.

Mikey Burson - “Cold as Ice” by Foreigner. Lionel Richie, Yes. Katy Perry, No. Luke Bryan, No. Me, No.

Adin Boyer - “Predicament,” original. Lionel Richie, Yes. Katy Perry, Yes. Luke Bryan, Yes. Me, Yes.

Wé Ani - “Anyone” by Demi Lovato. Lionel Richie, Yes. Katy Perry, Yes. Luke Bryan, Yes. Me, Yes.

Marybeth Byrd - “If It Hadn’t Been For Love” by The Steeldrivers. Lionel Richie, Yes. Katy Perry, Yes. Luke Bryan, Yes. Me, Yes.

Bre Podgorski - “All Night Long” in dueling piano with Lionel Richie. Lionel Richie, Yes. Katy Perry, Yes. Luke Bryan, Yes. Me, Yes.

Olivia Soli - “Hello” by Lionel Richie. Lionel Richie, Yes. Katy Perry, Yes. Luke Bryan, Yes. Me, Yes.

Preston Duffee - “Something to Write About,” original. Lionel Richie, Yes. Katy Perry, Yes. Luke Bryan, Yes. Me, Yes.

Emma Busse - “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road” by Elton John, then “Happy Birthday,”  traditionally attributed to Patty and Mildred J. Hill. Lionel Richie, Yes. Katy Perry, Yes. Luke Bryan, Yes. Me, Yes. I probably would have given this broad the platinum ticket.

Keelin McGinn - “Don’t Call Me,” original, then. Lionel Richie, Yes. Katy Perry, Yes. Luke Bryan, No. Me, Annoying AF.

Elijah McCormick - “Bless the Broken Road” by Rascal Flatts. Lionel Richie, Yes. Katy Perry, Yes. Luke Bryan, Yes. Me, Yes.

Ear Wormies

I know now that the Sam Phillips music from a little television show I like to call The Mighty Gilmoreans has at least two key doppelgängers. I know this because my brain keeps mashing them all together and playing them.

Examples follow:

For starters, if you've watched the show, these tunes are rather familiar:

My inner jukebox has matched this stuff with a little Beatles...

...and a bit of Traveling Wilburys...

Parenthood, the soundtrack

I have been on a watching binge of the 2010 television series Parenthood. This is largely due to a recent urgent need to keep myself going through the night as my work shift has gone from my nice cushy evening shift to a shift that propels me to work from sunset to sunrise Sunday through Thursday. When on such a shift, boredom is a real creeper. It's six seasons of wonderful family wholesome. Like Eight is Enough without the cheesy morality tales, and while we all love Betty Buckley, Bonnie Bedelia steams the joint up a bit more as the matriarchal Mrs. Braverman.

As music plays a vital role in this program (a central storyline is that the brothers Crosby and Whathisname run a recording studio together, but the show overall uses music to great effect), I half-thought about procuring a Spotify playlist based on the many eclectic tunes used throughout. Before making the effort, though, I thought I'd see if some other obsessive soul had previously done the work.

Runfaster19, you are the man. Person. Whatever. What a comprehensive playlist you created. Congratulations.

Spoiler: He Was Jacking Off

The Good Wife :Episode nine, season two, “Nine Hours.” Zach encounters Kalinda for the first time when she knocks on the door and he answers. She is wearing a purple leather coat and a black skirt. And the boots. Always the boots. He answers the door, as she is on her mobile phone. “You work with my mom?” She replies “yeah” and blasts right by him.

Later, Zach knocks on Alicia’s door and gestures his need for the bathroom. Alicia gestures come on through. As he goes into the bathroom, Zach’s eyes go all over Kalinda, head to toe.

After a few minutes, Zach is seen kind of stumbling out of the bathroom.

I wonder what Zach was doing in the bathroom. Oh, who am I kidding. I was 14 once. I know what Zach was doing in the bathroom.

Holy Crap! This Could Actually Be Good!

Go Home, SNL. You're Drunk.

On November 13...

On November 13, Felix Unger was asked to remove himself from his place of residence; that request came from his wife. Deep down, he knew she was right, but he also knew that some day he would return to her. With nowhere else to go, he appeared at the home of his friend, Oscar Madison. Several years earlier, Madison's wife had thrown HIM out, requesting that HE never return. Can two divorced men share an apartment without driving each other crazy?

(Thanks to my friend Todd, who remembers this date every year.)

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Can somebody please explain to Impeached Preznit Carnage 217 Electoral Votes that he did such a good job as preznit that he doesn't need to serve another term?

Tonight.

Also: The Comey Rule on Showtime.

Correctamundo

"As a Republican, I just marvel how Democrats trip over their own shoelaces on this. We have President Trump tweet that the communist economy of North Korea, under the dynamic leadership of its dictatorial leader could achieve unprecedented economic growth; the president routinely picks favorites among companies; he is erecting tariffs walls, which are taxes on American exporters, and Democrats can't figure out how to defend a market economy with social insurance programs? And let this guy claim the mantel of being the champion of free enterprise? Really?" (David Frum on Face the Nation today)

Miley Cyrus Gets It

Last night's episode of Saturday Night Live was surprising. It was you know, actually funny.

The cold open presented Trump in an "It's A Wonderful Life" scenario. Matt Damon's monologue was a great reflection from his early years trying to stay up late to watch SNL, a familiar memory. The first sketch was a well-crafted love letter to Monty Python's "Upper Class Twit of the Year," then a spot-on Christmas sketch. I'll never understand how they can miss on all cylinders so often and then for an entire show get it completely right. But, suffice it to say, if you catch one episode this year, make it the one that aired on Dec. 15.

And I hate it when I like Miley Cyrus, but she was fabulous. Rare is the musical guest who eschews the backing tape, but Cyrus' performances are clearly all hers. And especially touching was her version of "So This Is Christmas," where near the end she brings the background vocals—which Lennon meant as the nut of the song—into the foreground. War is over, if you want it, war is over now. This, and realizing that Sean Ono Lennon is her accompanist, lends this performance some real gravitas.

And of course, guess what President Sippy-Cup is blathering on about on the Tweeter: Trump freaks out over SNL’s ‘unfair news coverage’ and threatens legal action (Raw Story)

This is Jim Rockford. At the tone leave your name and message, I'll get back to you.

"For the same price I can get an actor with two eyes." (Studio Boss Harry Cohn, upon rejecting Peter Falk's screen test for columbia Pictures. One of the wrongest guys ever.)

For a guy who gets mighty nostalgic about '70s television, whose Tivo more often than not tops out with content from MeTV, it's been quite a week. First, James Garner, primarily known as private eye Jim Rockford, dies. Second, filed under "Hollywood is out of ideas," talk of a Columbo re-tread surfaces.

Of course, when a guy as iconic as Garner discorporates, it makes a guy like me go look him up. Here are a few things I found in his Wiki you might not expect:

• He was a veteran, having served 14 months in Korea with the 5th Regimental Combat Team in the Korean War.
• He was a Sooners fan. Garner was a native of Oklahoma and frequently attended football games at OU. He never graduated high school but received an honorary Doctor of Humane Letters degree at OU in 1995.
• He marched on Washington with Martin Luther King Jr. "In his autobiography, Garner recalled sitting in third row listening to King's 'I Have a Dream' speech."
• He was a lifelong Democrat. "For his role in the 1985 CBS miniseries Space, the character's party affiliation was changed from Republican as in the book to reflect Garner's personal views. Garner said, 'My wife would leave me if I played a Republican.'"
• Garner died one month prior to his 58th wedding anniversary. The story goes that he met her at an Adlai Stevenson political rally in 1956 and they married two weeks later.

Seems to me the guy was every bit as likeable as he seemed on the TV machine.

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Aaron has mixed feelings about the idea of a Columbo remake with Mark Ruffalo in the title role. I got a better idea: Let's do Baretta first.

Now. Let's get to one more little thing you may or may not have known: One of Steven Spielberg's first jobs? Directing the first episode of "Columbo."

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Creationist Ken Ham calls to end space program because aliens are going to hell anyway

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In Other News
• How to Get More Engaged at Work and Start Liking Your Job (Lifehacker)
• A Simplified Way to Tax Multinational Corporations (Moyers & Company)
• J.J. Abrams Offers First Glimpse of 'Star Wars: Episode VII' X-Wing (Rolling Stone)

I'm So Glad We Had This Time Together

I didn't know it was a thing until I read about it on The Blue: Corpsing.

That would be what happens when you are a cast member and one of your fellow players forces you to break character and laugh. As defined: "Corpsing is a British theatrical slang word for when an actor unintentionally breaks character during a scene by laughing or by causing another cast member to laugh."

A compilation of these instances on Saturday Night Live has recently been circulated.

However, I say that an earlier generation of sketch actors makes these guys look like pikers when it comes to corpsing. Here's an example.

Apparently this incident was pretty legendary. Vicki Lawrence tells the story:

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One last YouTube hat-tip to the reference in this post's title. Get ready to tug on your left ear:

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In Other News

A few nice "Orange Is The New Black" links from Buzzfeed:

• 23 Surprising Facts About 'Orange Is The New Black'
• 6 Major Differences Between "Orange Is The New Black" The Book And TV Show

Orange Is The New Black Is The New Weeds

If you are a Netflix subscriber and you haven't yet made it through the season of "Orange Is The New Black," you're wasting your $8 a month. Seriously. Cancel your subscription, then take $8 out of your wallet and go flush it down in your toilet. That's what it's like if you have the Netflix and you're not through "Orange" yet.

Sometimes, when a successful showrunner moves to the follow-up project from the smash hit that made them known as a wunderkind, bad things happen. David E. Kelley got progressively loonier until he's now with "Harry's Law," I guess, is that still on the air? Aaron Sorkin went the other way, erring too much in The Newsroom toward ponderous to be enjoyable. It can be a worry when a successful writer marches toward a new project. But from "Weeds" to "Orange Is The New Black," you may trust that Jenji Kohan has not lost one whit of her fantastic sensibility.

Having not read Piper Kerman's book, I don't know how custom-cut the stories therein were for the show, but Piper certainly seems like a perfect fit for Kohan; the WASPy suburbanite woman as fish-out-of-water, as being one who thrives on the razor's edge somewhat, as perpetually quite having it together as a result, and yet as a crafty, and sometimes explosive, survivor, yet not without an inevitable downward trajectory as a cost. Yesh, the similarities are uncanny between Nancy "Pants" Botwin and our new friend Piper Chapman.

But Chapman's character is necessarily subdued by a brilliant cast of characters who are there ostensibly to represent the faces of the terrifying reality one faces with a 15-month stint in prison but eventually to become just as rich, vibrant, and complicated a bunch as were the Botwin clan and allies.

Pay close attention to Uzo Aduba as Suzanne "Crazy Eyes" Warren (pictured, center). Know as you watch that this actress is an accomplished performer in musical comedy (Godspell). Then watch as Suzanne Warren evolves. I mean, all of these performances are like you might have come to expect if you're a hard-core "Weeds" watcher (and, if you are, you'll note a number of actors did carry over from that series). But Aduba is one to watch here.

Regardless of how good the ensemble, the real star is Jenji Kohan's perfect pitch. In the land of creative minds in television, nobody skates the line between the funny and the white-knuckling drama better than does she. This is stormy comedy at its finest and should not be missed.

And blasted, now we have to wait for season two. Though, I'm mighty glad it's coming.